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Should I kill myself or have a cup of tea?

I decide on the latter and I'm not sure why. Probably because I can. Life is a never-ending scroll of be-goods, be-happies, be-in-controls, be-okays, be-strongs and be-appreciatives. So what's another day?

Just another day closer to death.

Still, life seems incredibly long, don't you think? So long, it's hard to see the end and nearly impossible to touch – even with a knife in my hand that could easily skewer my heart, make it squirm and still like a dying nightingale – sealing its death with a pathetic squeal of almost-song.

Life is pain and people in pain are a pain in the ass. Perhaps occasionally or perhaps frequently, they think "Why not just kill myself? Life is hell, anyway. No hell after life could be worse than this."

But they're wrong. The worst is never the worst because things can always get worse and maybe that's why I decided to stick with the chamomile tea. That or I feel tea-sipping is reason to live.

Probably.

My perpetually cold hands warm the heated cup and I breathe in the steam. Maybe I think it'll fill me – the never-ending pit of my angsty teenage soul. I breathe and the steam sinks to the bottom – wherever that is – and I laugh because I think that is all I am. A never-ending abyss of steam. Not air, not fire, not water, not earth. Just steam.

With chamomile tea for a soul.

That's funny.
Leave your thoughts on it, if you'd like. Either way, thank you for reading :)

Here's something else I wrote, But I Love Him: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:+fav:

hi! i hope you don't mind my humble feature:
your lovely piece is handpicked. (link)

thank you.
:iconbluedancingflower:
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:iconjesterdawning:
jesterdawning Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is fucking gorgeous... I love it! *sips tea* Seriously though, I relate to this on a very deep and personal level. Thank you for putting my unexplainable thoughts into such well-chosen words.
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Damn "fucking gorgeous" might just be one of the best compliments I've ever received haha. I'm pleased you were able to relate to this. I do my best to reach through ribcages and pump hearts ;P
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:iconsylvania:
sylvania Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Professional General Artist
beautiful simplicity and lovely metaphor. i love this piece.
Reply
:iconanimechick8400:
AnimeChick8400 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I read this last night and i love it, but then today i remembered the name of it while i was talking to my best friend on the phone and then i asked him "Should I kill myself, or have a cup of tea?" and he went silent then replied "For god sakes , pick the tea." lol this is great! you did a really good job!
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Haha, maybe I'll start a trend xD The new greeting: Should I kill myself or have a cup of tea? ;P

And thank you. I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconanimechick8400:
AnimeChick8400 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Lol ya and no prob!
Reply
:iconjadeaimi:
jadeaimi Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012
Very dark humor. I think I will fave this and write a response to it in a similar style.
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Please do =D Perhaps we could do this back-and-forth poetry thing haha. I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:tea: it's a good read.

my :+fav: lines:

But they're wrong. The worst is never the worst because things can always get worse and maybe that's why I decided to stick with the chamomile tea. That or I feel tea-sipping is reason to live.

Probably.

My perpetually cold hands warm the heated cup and I breathe in the steam. Maybe I think it'll fill me – the never-ending pit of my angsty teenage soul. I breathe and the steam sinks to the bottom – wherever that is – and I laugh because I think that is all I am. A never-ending abyss of steam. Not air, not fire, not water, not earth. Just steam.

With chamomile tea for a soul.



Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Glad you liked it :D Thank you so much for reading!
Reply
:iconshasta-rose:
Shasta-Rose Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
An interesting juxtaposition... suicide, or tea (hence the title). But... understood. That is often very much the way it goes... something menial, or something extraordinarily "dramatic."
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Your well thought out comment is truly appreciated. Glad you liked it :)
Reply
:icontalentlessartlover:
TalentlessArtlover Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
Does I has to pick? I'd have my tea, first. :|
It seems incredibly long, as of late, around these parts fersure.
TY for posting something that I needed to read today.
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You are very welcome. I'm glad I managed to be of help. You stay strong or all the pain you've gone through will go to waste (you don't live this long just to die) Thank you for commenting :)
Reply
:icontalentlessartlover:
TalentlessArtlover Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
TY I'm far too mean to justdie. ;) Besides, I have couple more to-dos that must be experienced before I cease being a nuisance to humanoid lifeforms the world over. We can't have pain being [link] now, can we? :D Especially, it already having been endured and all. It's not so much pain as it is a heaviness on my spirit and extreme boredom with this tired old rat race.

"Everything old is new again." and again and again and again...until the end... Which most should know is actually a new beginning. It's past time to re-format the matrix and change the paradigm. :nirvana:
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
So you're saying the human race should end? xD Haha, I suppose that wouldn't be such a bad thing. If the sun explodes, it'll take us 8 minutes to notice. Too bad we won't be around to see it.
Reply
:icontalentlessartlover:
TalentlessArtlover Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
Not necessarilly end but take a new direction since our current trajectory is unsustainable. The could let out a "belch" and kill half the life on the planet. It doesn't have to explode.

8 minutes doesn't give much time for completion of bucket list, eh?
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
If I had 8 minutes to live, I'd sing. Maybe randomly make out with the nearest person who isn't related to me haha. My best friend says she'll run around naked and murder someone xD
Reply
:icontalentlessartlover:
TalentlessArtlover Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012
:lmao: @ the combo your best friend chose!
Singing sounds peaceful. What would you sing? I might wanna join in. :)
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Man, that's a hard question... "First Days of Spring" by Noah and the whale :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconartemis-f-fox:
Artemis-F-Fox Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Made me giggle. Made me think. Lovely~
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You gave one of the best possible compliments :P Thank you~
Reply
:iconartemis-f-fox:
Artemis-F-Fox Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! c:
Reply
:iconmedicatedmachine:
MedicatedMachine Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
This has dark humour to it and the best part of it, is the fact that it's true! Very well done C; I love it!
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for your comment :) glad you loved it!
Reply
:iconmedicatedmachine:
MedicatedMachine Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
You're very welcome C;
Reply
:iconangiewaa:
AngieWaa Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012
I don't usually comment, but this just hit me in the perfect spot. You're quite the amazing writer.
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much for your compliment :) I'm honoured that you took the time to leave a comment.
Reply
:iconrosa-aurea:
Rosa-Aurea Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very good, I love it! It concerns complexity of the human mind in a very simple way!
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Glad you liked it! Thank you for commenting!
Reply
:iconrosa-aurea:
Rosa-Aurea Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you're welcome! ;)
Reply
:icondewkitty:
DewKitty Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012
I love the almost dry, morbid humour threaded through this. The mimicry of human speech patterns give this a distinct style and really bring you into the character's head. Lovely piece of writing.
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for your gracious comment. It's a style I enjoy, it allows for the words to flow. I'm glad you like it :)
Reply
:icon800-a-1b3:
800-a-1b3 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I actually really love this! <3
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Glad you do, dearrree <3
Reply
:iconcrystaltearz55:
CrystalTearz55 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this because so many can relate to this and your diction is just marvelous. To be able to write about life and death from your perspective and have people understand is amazing. Beautiful peice fo literture, absolutley amazing.
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Pssh you're making me blush :P Thank you for leaving your mega-gracious comment. kisses and coddles <3
Reply
:iconcrystaltearz55:
CrystalTearz55 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome!
Reply
:iconjeciwoods17:
jeciwoods17 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very deep, I love it
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
Reply
:iconoiseau-de-feu:
Oiseau-de-Feu Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Student General Artist
All I can say is that I love this. No gobs of praise, no heaping criticism, I just love this :)
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Saying you love something is pretty much up there with super-praise so thank you very much for taking the time to say so ^___^
Reply
:iconoiseau-de-feu:
Oiseau-de-Feu Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Student General Artist
Haha no problem :)
Reply
:iconbluryoutlines:
bluryoutlines Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012   Writer
When you write this well, it should defiantly be a reason to live.

This is one of the most beautiful, and captivating prices I've ever read! It is so easy to relate too, it's almost scary! Everything about this story draws your attention in. The title caught me right off the bat! Fantastic job dear!
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You made my day with your comment Q~Q Thanks a bunch, I'm honoured that you think so highly of my words and glad that you were able to relate. You're right, there's definitely more to live for than just tea
Reply
:iconbluryoutlines:
bluryoutlines Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012   Writer
You're very welcome! You definitely have a watch from me ^.^
Reply
:iconxtintedlullabyx:
xTintedlullabyx Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Aww thank you for watching me <3
Reply
:iconbluryoutlines:
bluryoutlines Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012   Writer
You're very welcome!!
Reply
:iconchrysalis-of-glass:
chrysalis-of-glass Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012  Student General Artist
Beautiful writing :hug: ... but yes, there are definitely moments of life that make it worth living. And by the way, I love your imagery - very expressive, very vivid, and extremely creative! :wow:
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